there's no such thing as autopickle

For the last year, autotune has been nails on a chalkboard for me. T-Pain should have quit the whole thing after Snoop released the redundantly titled "Sensual Seduction." That song is pretty much a B Minus, but it's superior to most of the tracks that Pain poops out of his mouth, through a computer program, and into our ears.

Now autotune's stock is rising a little bit in the shoebomber's cultural index. First, if MLK is on board, it's tough for me to oppose.

Second, it is definitely livening up cable news.

Pain, if you are reading this, and I'm pretty sure you are (it's possible that the true identity of the mystery "contributor" known as ROBE is...T-Pain? It's possible?), take a cue from those videos. Autotune can be a sweet program. But you can't just think out loud and expect the program to polish that turd into gold. I wish things were different. Like we could all just asdjfjk all over this blog and the magic of computers would transform all that into a coherent post. But there's no such thing as an autopickle, and there's no autotune sophisticated enough to make your recent releases worthwhile. Take some pride in your work, Pain.